Patricia Gray Visual Fine Artist Black Spruce Studio
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Coping during the Pandemic...

1/21/2022

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So often we can find ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously1, looking for ways to validate our pain and justify our feelings of being stuck – sometimes to the point of complete inertia. And the pandemic has certainly given all of us plenty of fodder to reinforce many of our negative beliefs about ourselves and the world we live in. It has also given us license to dive right in and invest heavily in our private ‘pain market,’ like it’s the next hot Bitcoin-esque opportunity. We do this through our negative thoughts, reinforcing our pain and the negative belief systems that have never served us well. In turn, this leads to feelings of helplessness, apathy, and even despair. And we can find ourselves engaging in maladaptive behaviours that can be difficult to overcome.
 
We cannot deny the extremely challenging times that we have been forced to navigate over these past two years. As with any threat or challenge in our life, the denial of ‘what is’ would be a futile attempt to avoid the emotional pain these challenges have brought to our lives. Many of us have felt consumed at times over the course of the pandemic by feelings of worry, fear, isolation, and sorrow. And we understand that we are not alone in our suffering. We know that it extends far beyond our individual experience -- that it is being felt collectively --  as we bear witness to incredible suffering around the world as the pandemic rages on.
 
There are so many things we cannot change. But rather than buying into the notion of helplessness, what we can do right now is change our fundamental way of seeing and being in the world -- and use this crisis as an opportunity for our personal growth. A maturing if you will. Instead of looking for all the reasons to validate our pain and stuckness, we can decide – and it is definitely a decision – to look for reasons to validate our joy and freedom. And by freedom I mean cultivating the ability to access the inner stillness that is ever-present, irrespective of what is happening outwardly. Making a choice to take responsibility for our own experience has perhaps never been more imperative to our health and well being than it is right now.
 
The pandemic, like all other major challenges that we might have faced in our lives, is providing us with an opportunity to reassess our commitment to self. And this kind of commitment is intrinsically and intimately connected to the development of three core aspects of the self: self-love, self-appreciation, and self-acceptance. These are three fundamental facets of our being that need to be lovingly cultivated as they are intrinsic to finding our joy and freedom in life. And it must be done in the spirit of compassion as we learn to walk toward becoming more whole.
 
Until we fully commit to ourselves, we cannot authentically commit to anyone or anything else. It lays the very foundation for our work in the world. It is literally the energy source that makes all other work possible. And it opens up a pathway that allows ‘us’ to get out of our own way. In other words, it gives us the capacity to transcend our unconscious needs and desires; thus, making us better able to recognize what truly needs to be done in our lives and in the world – ‘unclouded’  by our own pain and dysfunction in whatever forms they may appear. This is the only way we can become benefactors and facilitators of authentic healing.
 
So where can we each start? Let’s look at a few ways we can move toward greater emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual health. Most importantly we need to change our thoughts. Because when we change our thoughts we change our (inner) world – and that is necessary before outer changes can manifest. Reacquainting ourselves with the beauty and power of rituals is certainly a good place to start. Here are just a few ideas:


  • When you wake up in the morning commit to having the greatest day you can. Before you even get out of bed. Before you reach for any electronic devices. Don’t decide that you are going to HAVE a great day, decide that you are going to MAKE IT a great day. There is a difference. The former is conditional on outer circumstances, the latter is not. It might sound simple enough, but we need to be careful to notice the resistance that might arise even with this seemingly simple practise. Many of us will hear an internal chatter undermining our efforts. ‘Reminding’ us that we are ultimately victims of our circumstances and that we are helpless in the face of so much adversity. But decide and commit anyway. And recommit throughout your day as many times as necessary…and it will be necessary!
 
  • Think of several things you are grateful for each morning when you wake up and each night before going to sleep. Don’t get lackadaisical about it. Write them down if that helps you keep with the practise. It’s a simple but profoundly powerful tool. When we learn to live in a state of gratitude, it opens up a whole new spiritual dimension of ourselves. We may even come to have gratitude for our own suffering, as it is one of the most dynamic motivators that we will ever encounter in terms of our own personal growth and sense of ‘deepening,’ as we align with our soul.
 
  • Each day think of at least one way you can make someone else’s day better. There is a saying I heard once that goes something like this: ‘When we seek happiness for ourselves, it eludes us. When we seek it for others, we find it ourselves.’ Don’t underestimate the power of a good deed!
 
  • Creativity feeds the soul! Surround yourself with it! Listen to music that you enjoy or seek out works of art that move you. Or get creative yourself -- in whatever way you feel resonates with you. Perhaps draw. Write a poem or a letter to someone you love or admire. Or do any ‘ordinary’ task creatively, like organizing your closet! Done with the right intention and an open heart, creativity will help support you in releasing your painful emotions rather than habitually reinforcing your pain. You will be better able to move through some of the difficult emotions you are holding onto and ultimately transcend them.
 
  • Be mindful that any resistance to ‘what is’  is a precursor to stress in our lives. The more resistance, the more stress.  Take a river for example. Wishing the river flowed in a different direction creates stress and depletes our energy system. Learning to simply observe the river flowing in that same direction does not create stress. We are simply observing. Try to let go of strong preferences in your life and accept and work with the reality of what IS.
 
  • Spend time outdoors whenever it is possible. Being in nature is a wonderful antidote for stress (its been proven to lower stress hormone levels). It also enhances the immune system, reduces anxiety, increases self-esteem, and improves our mood -- amongst other things. So get out there! The trees and plants have a beautiful energy field. Immerse yourself in it. When we truly understand that we are merely a single, infinitesimal focal point of Consciousness in a limitless, expansive universe, we can bow even to a single blade of grass.
 
  • And lastly, practice compassion – toward yourself and others. The word compassion comes from the Latin word ‘compati,’ meaning ‘to suffer with.’ World-renowned mythologist Joseph Campbell, one of my earliest teachers, often spoke of the Grail. He understood that the Grail, in mythological terms, was referencing the highest spiritual potentiality of human consciousness. He wrote, ‘The key to the Grail is compassion, suffering with, feeling another’s sorrow. The one who finds the dynamo of compassion is the one who’s found the Grail.2’
 
May some of these words resonate with you.
Be the Light,
Patricia


1 Of course the more we understand the true nature of “Consciousness,” we see that this kind of behaviour is always an act undertaken unconsciously.

2 Selected and Edited by Diane K. Obon (1991). A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living (p. 53). HarperCollins Publishers.


**Please Note: The contents of this site are meant for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing found on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health issue.
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Listening to the "messengers"...

6/14/2020

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Today I find myself reflecting on the painful emotional experiences, or states, that we, as human beings, unconsciously create in our lives. And how pain, although very uncomfortable, is such a great motivator and can become the catalyst we might so desperately need to push us to wake up to the truth of who we really are. But first, we have to become aware of and understand how our willingness to participate in the ongoing drama – the “story of me” -- in our lives is keeping us feeling stuck, unhappy, and unfulfilled.
 
Our thoughts and emotions are not separate entities. And that translates into this: The way we think determines the way we feel. If we can learn how to change our thoughts, we can change our experience of the world. And this is true on both the personal and collective levels. We must start to observe and learn to understand that wherever our attention goes, our energy follows. When thoughts arise that we do not believe in [like if I told you Springsteen was NOT the best performer of all time!] we can easily ignore them and thus they have no power over us…but a thought believed in can start a war -- be it an internal war within ourselves or one between nations.
 
Thoughts are entities unto themselves, energy forms if you will. So, we need to recognize that whenever we find ourselves identifying with our thoughts we are giving them authority over us. I once heard it said that, “Mind is meant to be our servant, it is a wicked master.” All too often, we become stuck in rather hostile, life-denying thoughts that wreak havoc in our lives. They are in fact, the building blocks that determine who we THINK we are. And this is precisely how, through relentless negative thinking, we find ourselves either attacking ourselves or attacking others! We effectively hold ourselves hostage with relentless feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
 
We buy into thoughts that tell us that we are somehow not good enough. Often, we can feel like we have failed in so many areas of our lives that we conclude that we must BE a failure. Or we believe in the thoughts that assert we are somehow “unacceptable,” leaving us unable to feel a healthy sense of worthiness. And so we think that we have to “add” something to ourselves in order to be valuable…be it a new job, more money, or a partner. Because we do not feel “lovable,” we fail to recognize that we ARE Love itself!!! Instead, the reality of who we truly are, as LIMITLESS LOVE, is hidden behind our habitual, learned responses through the identification with our thoughts, as we believe them into our experience of existence. In fact, we are so “clever,” that we unconsciously attract energy in the form of other people and/or situations that will “confirm” just how unacceptable and unlovable we really are! We stay in unhealthy relationships, abuse drugs or alcohol, we eat too much or eat too little…we find so many ways to “feed” our negative self-concepts and sabotage our lives.
 
Through this process, we experience a total loss of “internal space.” We cannot seem to access the realm that lies outside of the frantic movement of thoughts – the realm where peace and stillness await. Where we can truly breathe and experience the fullness of life. We need to learn how this lack of inner space – resulting from identification with our thoughts and the body/mind -- renders us spiritually unconscious and unable to find our way “home.”  
 
It is crucial that we devote the energy and time necessary to identify and reflect on the negative thinking patterns we find ourselves struggling with and that are keeping us stuck. What life events have shaped our personal, unique belief systems and continue to impact our thoughts, feelings and behaviour today? How do they dictate what we choose to do in our lives and what we choose to avoid?
 
A good starting point to overcoming the suffering in our lives is learning how to say "No!" to what does not honour who we are, how to do it "safely," and adopting this as a deep personal tenet in our lives. When we truly commit to ourselves the universe moves to support us…in fact, I believe it waits patiently and lovingly for us to make these profound changes in our lives and begin to move forward, learning to love ourselves well.
 
In response to our demonstrated commitment to self, shifts begin to happen in our lives naturally and effortlessly. Our relationships begin to change. Our eating habits change as we honour our body by consciously choosing foods that nourish our cells rather than impede them. Our sleeping habits change as restfulness replaces our restlessness. We feel more alive and more alert. More creative. And we feel an inner sense of spaciousness that has been lacking for far too long, where the fullness of who we are can be realized.
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**Please Note: The contents of this site are for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing found on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health issue.
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Trying something new...

5/12/2020

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Never considered having a Blog before today, but as I was updating my website, I thought it might just be what I needed to get back into writing that book I started quite some time ago. For now though, here's Buddha...just sitting there like he's "all that," when clearly he has a chip on his shoulder... :)
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    Patricia Gray  is an artist and registered psychotherapist...

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Patricia Gray Visual Fine Artist 
Black Spruce Studio / Meraki Art Studios & Gallery
240 East Road, Lion's Head, ON  N0H 1W0

W: www.blacksprucestudio.com
PH: 705.475.6248
E: [email protected]

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